tuucker:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

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William T(olerant) Spears

  • Sebastian: *breathes*
  • William: Oh FUCK! WHAT THE HELL. Fuck you! Fuck you and your hair! You disgusting, vile, vermon!!11! DAMN YOU. Damn it. Can't you keep your sins to yourself!? I hate you so much! Of all the disgusting, horrid things, honestly. I WILL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD, HELLSPAWN!
  • Sebastian: Sorry.
  • William: IMMA KILL YOU WITH FIRE!!!!!!211!!
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deeeeaaan:

em0rexia:

jamtards:

im so easily amused oh my fucking god but the pepper what the fuck

image

loOK HOW SHOCKED THE PLUG SOCKET ON THE WALL IS OMF G

this looks about one second away from a dramatic murder scene

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